From Mitch Groves (“a.k.a. Mitch Groves”) in Pasadena, California, I received a mind-boggling submission. It seems to include a complex understanding of chemical bonding and fundamental principles. I think. It’s a bit hard to tell.

I reproduce it here (after the jump) in the hope someone with greater cranial capacity than I can make sense of it: perhaps Mr Groves’s entry will be the Petrushka of the 22nd century.

We will be announcing the winner of our competition on or around the 20th January, having searched through nearly 2000 entries for the most rigorously proven hypothesis. Thank you for a puzzling but enjoyable read, Mr Groves.

“Everything that pertains to exact calculations of “running to” chemical displacements, can be a mass-combining quality control product. In the potential and excessively due confoundments of purposeless invoicing of chemical changes of the elements, volume-occupying supercritical value controls a mode resolution that an asymmetric relation solubilizes in the element of gold.
And if we can also understand, that in the order of reactions there are operating ratios that prevent electrons from falling into the nucleus, then bond dissociation energy shared between atoms can be regarded as a concept of non-bonding wave patterns. These patterns concern time’s multidimensional interplay of divergent and generalized sets, rendering currents of nonfavourable locations over into a qualitative synthesization of square planar weight. Gold’s control mode resolution makes it impervious to oxidation, and the remarkable grip it has on its outer electron is a function of its nucleus’s powerful positive charge.

So, in this conjecture of the manipulable conditions of the solution of “The Italian Job” literal cliffhanger, Michael Caine goes into piecewise, rational function meditation – remembering some explanation of it given by Jimi Hendrix on British television a few years before and as yet still living. He, that is Caine, establishes generalized bandwidth with probability substitutions, by turning on the bus’s commercial radio receiver and atomizing it. This “atomizing” consists of switching the tuner dial back and forth in random and time-altering patterns, swinging to and fro.
As Caine does this, he meditates on the supercritical superconductivity of the gold’s electron power filling the bus and being interpreted, and interpolated, in synchronous power with the radio jostlings.
As the result, provided that Caine continues concentrating, a special sequence of probability time-current predicts the awesome power of the gold to electrify a good future for the mission. The electronically-bandwidthed gold then moves, and lifts the bus up, and the fold – for all we know – can stay pretty electric. The mission is saved, at least until Caine and his henchmen get caught. That the gold cannot prevent.”

From Mitch Groves, a.k.a. Mitch Groves, Pasadena CA.